It's not from Kohl's, it's from God.

I started this post as a way to capture what God has done for us this Christmas season. And while I would normally write this in my journal (see previous post :) ) I decided that this example of God's faithfulness was too good to keep all to myself and in hopes that it would encourage my 5 fellow blog followers. :) Are you out there people?

Anyway, I have mentioned before that as a stay at home mom, our lifestyle has changed dramatically. And that while there won't be lots of pricey presents under the tree, what we are most thankful for is our little family. But I would be remiss in saying that I wasn't disappointed in the fact that we might not be able to do a lot for Christmas for others. And while I've tried to coupon and pinch every penny this month, it was the Lord who was looking out for us. So far this Christmas I have bought $50 worth of merchandise from Kohls for FREE. You heard me. I have gotten frames, towels, albums.... all gifts for loved ones and all because Kohls keeps sending me these free gift cards. I don't have an account with them because we don't use credit cards (big Dave Ramsey followers) but yet I'm like the top person on all their mailing lists. But in my heart I know it isn't Kohls that is providing these gifts but the Lord. Because every good and perfect give comes from heaven above. And just when I thought the blessings couldn't get any better - I found a gift card that I had to Best Buy which enabled me to buy another gift for a loved one and I only had to put $5 with it. Then this afternoon, I was looking for something for my sister-in-law and I found the perfect gift that I wanted to give her however the price was not perfect for me. So I decided I would wait and see if I found something else later on. When I got home there was a gift certificate waiting for me in my email to the very store where I had located this gift for my sister-in-law. I only had to again put $5 with the certificate and the gift was purchased. God strikes again. His provision is unending for us and I don't know why I continue to be shocked or surprised. Because His word promises that he delights in us and that if our earthly father can give us great gifts than how much more can our heavenly father do for us. So take it from me, one very blessed little lady, that God can and will do more than you can think or imagine. That is just who He is.

A Christmas Blessing

There's a running joke amongst my friends about how much I have changed in the past few years. I like to tell people that I used to shop at Saks and eat at Bottega's and now I shop at Kohls and eat at Moe's. :) As a stay-at-home mom my lifestyle has changed dramatically. There won't be a lot of fancy gifts or expensive dinners or even visions of smocked outfits with reindeers this Christmas. But that is okay. There was a time when I was able to give out expensive gifts but this is a different season I am in. My dear Mother-in-law recently gave me a "Mother's journal" that records all my favorite memories, vacations, foods, experiences and so forth. But one of the entries had me stumped for a while. It wanted me to list my favorite bible verse. What kind of a question is that?! How do you pick just one when really there is a lot of good stuff in the Bible. But I told Steve the other day that I think I finally figured it out. It's the verse in Esther 4:14, "for such a time as this." And while Taylor Innes (who lived with me in Jerusalem) and I used to have a joke about this verse, I really believe that it holds true for me. This season is for such a time as this. I will only be at home with my doodlebug for such a time as this and I only have a few of those moments left. So I better treasure them while I can. And while the gifts may be simple this year  bought with free gift cards that Kohls sends me in the mail :), while there may not be fancy dinners or holiday outfits and lots of Christmas decorations on display at our house, there will be a huge celebration on the inside - in my heart. As a mother of a precious son, the sacrifice that our Lord gave with his only son Jesus touches my heart in a way that I never knew existed. To think of Mary as she watched her first born son crucified on the cross - I couldn't bear it. Samuel is my first born too and he IS my only begotten son. So this Christmas I am thankful that the price was already paid and that the sacrifice was already given, and it won't be my Samuel paying that debt. I now know what true love is.

Give Thanks

As Thanksgiving is upon us I have been reminded lately how blessed I am. As my little one wakes at 4 and 5 a.m. the past few mornings and my exhausted body somehow manages to get up and feed him, change him and put him back to bed, I am tempted to silently complain about my lack of sleep and frustration that Samuel is still not quite sleeping through the night. But as I sit there with him hungrily nursing away at 4 a.m., instead of being grouchy about it, I've just been thankful. Thankful that he is here safe in my arms and not missing. Thankful that he is a very healthy little boy and not diabetic or on dialysis or with cancer. Thankful that God chose me to be mother to this sweet doodlebug with the most beautiful smile you have ever seen. So in several moments over the past few days I have been reminded of Thanksgiving and what the day truly means. Recognizing that it isn't about Black Friday or all the good deals to be had but that it's about the simple things in life that matter. Family, God's provision for us and our faith. What are you thankful for this holiday?

Balance

Samuel, just being cute.

I was super encouraged last week at my small group regarding balance. Every Wednesday, I get the treat of leaving my baby at home with his Daddy and attending Cindy Acton's Moms' mentoring small group. I can't tell you how encouraging and much needed this group is in my life as a new mother. One thing that I asked the girls about last week was how do I achieve balance in my life between being a mother, wife, housekeeper, cook, laundress.... you get the picture. And these girls really gave me some great advice. Most said that I'm going to have to let some things go at home and become okay with that. And really Steve has said that as long as the baby is still alive and fed when he gets home from work then that is all that matters to him. Well that isn't all that matters to me. I thrive in a clean, organized environment. I don't like messes and I can even handle if things aren't that clean as long as they are neat and organized. But here lately our place looks like it has been hit by a tornado and I just can't handle that. So the ladies in my group suggested that I do one load of laundry every morning and do one cleaning item that day like either ironing, dusting, cleaning the toilets and so on. So I made a schedule on my Apple iCal for cleaning (it's color coded pink :) ) and have been using this method since last Thursday and I can't tell you how much better I feel about our place and myself. I have actually gotten more done in the past week than in a long time. Because I let go of that endless to do list that just looked so overwhelming and just kept it simple with one task a day. Pastor Chris preached on chaos and being frantic this morning, and that sermon rang true in my spirit. Just by having my new found plan, I have found more rest each day. P.C. stated that rest is a state of mind and that is so true for me now. While I'm more active than I have been in a long time (I was a couch potato during my pregnancy) I feel that I have accomplished my goals each day and feel good about our place and my role as housekeeper and stay at home mom. And that my friends equals more peace in our household, which is a very good thing. :)

What is your God assignment?

my beautiful mentor, Julie and my precious doodlebug

Just finished a wonderful weekend at Church of the Highland's for the annual Women's Retreat, ReCreate. Holly Wagner spoke and Shane & Shane led us in some awesome worship. But Holly's theme of encouraging us to find and stick with our God assignment surely has me thinking. Where am I in life and what has God placed in my path? Obviously my assignment right now is to be wife and mother and that truly does fill up my days. And though I thought it was what I always wanted in life, I realize that it isn't enough. God created me personally for more than that. It's not that I'm discontent with my life, on the contrary. It's just that I know the Lord meant me for ministry. And at this time in my life, when my thoughts and days are so consumed with caring for a little one, I have to wonder, where and how can I minister to others in the midst of this. Which honestly is why I started this blog. I'm not much of a scrapbooker which is why you probably won't always see updates on my baby. Not that he isn't worthy of them but really this blog is more of an outlet for me. It's a way for me to communicate a word from the Lord and hope that it inspires or encourages my few followers on this blog. And that honestly is my "God assignment". Not the blog itself, but the act of inspiring and sharing with others a word from the Lord or my experiences. As I was at the conference praying and thinking about how I could live this out in a more substantial way the Lord answered me. A friend at the conference asked me to mentor her on a weekly basis pouring into her what my precious mentor, Julie Collier, has poured into me for the past four years or so. And really that is exactly what my heart was desiring. Someone who wanted to hear what the Lord had taught me over the years about life, marriage, motherhood (that's a new one for me) and ministry. And it was just a reminder to me of something my friend, Michelle Allen said to me at the conference. "God knows the desires of your heart Laura Gail," she said. It sounds so simple but really it is profound. Because when you stop and consider your life at times, you see how he has answered those desires in miraculous and marvelous ways. My question to you is, what is your "God assignment"? It could be for a season or what you knew you were created to do and be. Consider what God is calling you to do and do it. Don't be scared. He equips those he calls and will always enable you to conquer what ever mountain stands in your way.

Strength

Lately I have been meditating on strength. In yesterday's one year bible reading the Proverb was, "If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small." As a new mother there have been some days of adversity. To be honest there have been days when I thought surely God picked the wrong person to be mother to Samuel. Days where I thought I wasn't going to make it because of sleep deprivation or days when the crying seemed to be ear piercing and my son was challenging me to a cry-off competition which I would surely win. But no matter the tears on my part, the bad attitude or the complaining of lost sleep, the days end and start all over again. And what have I gained by feeling hopeless during those moments: nothing. And so I am reminded this week several times, that I have a lot more strength than even I realize. Ruthie Simmons spoke at our Moms' mentoring group this week and spoke on strength. She reminded me that I was created to be Samuel's mother for such a time as this. This is no surprise to God that I'm a mother. And even my sweet husband whom God consistently uses to refine me, reminded me that I can do this. On the days when I doubt myself and my abilities, I pray that I remember as a Proverbs 31 woman, strength and honor are my clothing. To my fellow mommies, I pray that you remember that too.

time

Samuel's first trip to the Zoo

It's amazing how my day is divided up into chunks of time now. Every three hours I feed my baby, burp my baby, keep my baby awake for just a little while and then try to get my baby to nap until I feed my baby, burp my baby.... and well you get the picture. Then it's a race against time to eat a meal, put a load of laundry in, fold the laundry and return emails and calls while he is sleeping and swinging. And let's be honest, we all know that I haven't mastered it yet because there are plenty of people I have yet to call back these days. Life as I knew it, has changed. But it has changed for the better as I now possess a sweet little doodlebug named Samuel. This little doodlebug smiles at me now and it just melts my heart. And even though it feels like I just had a baby, I don't feel like he is a baby anymore because he is growing so fast and I find myself looking longingly at newborns and wishing to have another baby. Am I crazy or what?! I think my hormones are still re-settling because after the labor experience I had, I need to wait at least a year before I think about getting pregnant again. And even then I don't really want to be pregnant again (because we all know how I difficult I was to deal with), I just want a little baby brother to appear out of thin air for Samuel. Oh if only it was that easy. But Steve and I have promised next go around it will all be easier. I will definitely not make so many trips to Dunkin Donuts and to the Publix Bakery because this last 30 pounds has not been easy to get off. But it's amazing how much more productive I am now that I don't have cankles and have healed relatively well from my surgery.

In case you are wondering about how Samuel is doing, well... he loves milk! We are convinced that is all he dreams about. Because when he is hungry, he attacks his bottle or my breast like a bear tearing a piece of meat. He does this side to side bob thing with his head and then aggressively latches onto whatever nipple he can find at the present time. It's actually kind of funny to watch unless you are the one that he is so aggressively latching onto - then it's pretty painful. But he is sleeping pretty well. It's a little inconsistent and we are really hoping to get him sleeping through the night on a more regular basis. We have had several nights where he did, so all the indicators are there that he can be a good sleeper. But there are also nights where he wakes up twice in the middle of the night and we can't figure out what we did differently for that to happen. So last night we gave him a real good pep talk on sleeping till at least 6:30 a.m. or later and this morning he woke up at 7 a.m. So our words do have power. :)

Samuel is extremely long, like his daddy, and is growing quickly out of his footed pajamas and long daygowns. Our bubbles fit great because it doesn't matter how long his legs get to wear those. He is smiling a lot now which is super cute and thankfully he doesn't scream anymore when we change his diaper. A lot of times when I'm changing him on the changing table he just looks up at me and smiles. I keep trying to teach him to say milk but it may be a while before all that clicks. He loves his swing and takes most naps in it because he refuses to sleep in his bed during the day which I'm working on but you have to pick your battles. A screaming child all day or a few peaceful moments here and there so you don't go insane. You would do the same believe me. :) Blueberry seems pretty unattached right now to Samuel. He pretty much just ignores him and does his own thing and I can't remember the last time I even paid attention to Blueberry poor thing. I'm just so focused on the baby and getting things done around here that I just don't have the energy to hold another big baby. And this one weights 20 pounds too where as my other one only weighs around 11 lbs and 3 oz.

I'm happy to announce that I'm actually cooking again, menu planning and couponing. We were so tired of eating out but until I was feeling better it was just easier to grab something. But this time around I'm learning how to cook very simple meals because there isn't time or energy for the complicated and elaborate recipes that I used to make. And honestly, this way it's probably healthier and cheaper since I'm not using as many ingredients. The other night I baked Lemon Pepper Chicken with some bone in chicken breasts that were in my freezer and some Lawry's Lemon Pepper seasoning and it was delicious. It doesn't get any simpler than throwing some seasoning on chicken and then putting it in the oven. We had some yummy brown rice and fresh green beans from Publix (they have been really good and cheap lately) that I sprinkled some Parmesan on and it was a yummy meal. Probably my favorite one that I have made lately.

Anyway, this chunk of time is about to expire so Au Revoir until next time - whenever that is. :)